Choose to be free
Have you ever felt dissatisfied with your life? Who hasn’t, right? Well what if someone told you that you didn’t have to be. What would your response be?
You could probably write a long list of all the reasons that you can’t be satisfied. “I hate my job, but I can’t quit cause I need the money” “ I wish I could get in shape, but I can’t because I don’t have the time” “ I want to travel but I can’t because…and so on and so forth. The list goes on and on. We have a thousand excuses why we can’t do what we want to do. In other words we are imprisoned by our boundaries. Well here is a radical idea…you don’t have to be!
What are our boundaries?
When we were young, boundaries were things that our parents set up to keep us safe. “Stay here, don’t leave the yard, be home before dark, etc” At an early age, we became aware of the role of boundaries, they kept us safe and they were necessary. As we became adults we appreciated those boundaries and based on our experiences we began to set more to keep ourselves safe. Again there are some that are necessary. For instance, one shouldn’t drink and drive, but not all boundaries keep us safe; some keep us bound. Perceived boundaries come from unwritten rules that we create for ourselves as a result of past experiences. For example, the first time you express affection to someone publicly and they rebuff your affections…that’s when you establish an unwritten rule that says thou shalt not be allow thyself to be overly affectionate, or say you decide to start a business venture and it fails, then the rule is thou must remember that thou are not bill gates, thus thou should stick to what thou knows, or the first time you sing in public and are unlucky enough to had a Simon Cowell type in the audience, it then becomes thou shall not express thyself lest thou embarrass thyself. A thousand examples could be cited to illustrate the fact that when we find ourselves humiliated, hurt, or disappointed, we often make boundaries that exclude those experiences even though we recognize that those experiences will not threaten our lives.
Sometimes we don’t create the boundaries, others create them for us. Nkiru* likes to call such people negas. “People who just bring negative energy into every situation” she tells of how when she was applying to schools she lived with an aunt who discouraged from applying to top tier universities they’d never accept her {in spite of her good grades and recommendations}. “I believed the hype for a while and even started thinking of just going to a community college, but thankfully, I realized that if I didn’t try, I would never know and can you imagine, I got a free ride to a top ranked school!” Mary*, who recently emigrated from Liberia, found herself in a similar predicament, when she came to the US, she had dreams of becoming a doctor, but everyone around her pressured her to focus on something more sensible. Today she is a 2nd year nursing student and in spite of her determination to finish the program; she looks at the future with a heavy heart, always wondering what could have been. In her family’s push for security, they have seemingly doomed her to a life of mediocrity.
Fear
The last reason we keep ourselves bound is fear. Fear is probably the biggest reason a lot of us don’t step out of our boundaries. What are we afraid of? Some of us are afraid of failure. What if I fail is the recurrent phrase that plays in our head whenever a new opportunity presents itself. Fear can be a crippling emotion. It works by not allowing the person feeling it to see past the risk involved to see the possible rewards. Every challenge is made larger by fear. If you decided to start a restaurant for instance, fear wouldn’t allow you to see past the possibility of losing money to the possibility of having a very successful eatery. The way to silence that voice of fear is to say, so what! Failure is not an end to life; in fact in many cases it is a beginning to success.
What kind of life can we lead if we step outside our boundaries?
Think about how life would be if you could everything you wanted to do but couldn’t because of one thing or another. Some of us dream of becoming writers, some filmmakers, some dream of being chefs, others dream of being doctors, lawyers or nurses, anything at all, the world is wide open with possibilities.
Imagine if you could greet each new day knowing that you were going to take full advantage of your possibilities.
You might be saying, well that sounds all well and good but how can I be free?
Here are 6 basic steps to being free
1. Choose to be free: In the past freedom has not always been available to all of us but today we have no reasons not to be free. Choosing to be free means taking a real look at your life, identifying areas in which you have been previously been bound and making a decision to change your life and push past your boundaries.
2. Reach out to opportunity: The old adage goes opportunity knocks but once. That is only half true. Opportunity doesn’t always knock. Sometimes you have to create your own opportunities. Many of the most successful people today didn’t wait for an opportunity to fall in their lap.
3. Be confident in spite of uncertainty: Whenever you attempt to do something outside your scope of expertise, you will have moments of uncertainty. In order to be successful you must be confident that regardless of the outcome of one project you will ultimately succeed as long as you continue to pursue your passion.
4. Expand your circle of influence: Once you’ve decided to step out of your boundary and pursue your passion. Get out there and network. Talk to people who are out there doing things. Get inspired, get information and get help! People are more willing to help you than you think.
5. Don’t be afraid of the word, risk: Risk is just a necessary rung on the ladder that leads to success. If you don’t take risks then you are never going to achieve your fullest potential. It’s like you are on the shore of a river and your best life is on the other side, but the canoe available seems shaky at best. What do you do, make your life on the banks on the river or do you take the plunge and get in the canoe. Remember, even if you fall out of the canoe, you can always get back in the canoe, or if you are a strong swimmer, swim to shore!
6. Just do it! Stop making excuses, just do it! Get out of bed, get your pen and paper, write down what your dreams are, and figure out what it would take to achieve them, make a to do list, and get to it. You don’t have to wait till you get that degree, or win the lottery or get married, your kids grow up; you can start moving towards your goals today!
Never give up
An American war hero is quoted as saying “give me liberty, or give me death”. We should have that attitude of continually trying to get to that place of freedom. Historically the path to freedom has been a difficult one. One often rife with bloodshed and struggle. People around you may react negatively, some will call you crazy, you may feel crazy, but persist. Know that the concept of overnight success is often a myth. Look at every closed door as a challenge and be prepared to try and try again. Bear in mind that even the most successful among us, stumble a couple of times before finally breaking through to success.
The choice to be free is often a difficult one for many of us to make. It requires living by faith and often making radical changes. Rhian Benson, an R&B singer, made a radical change in her life by deciding to leave the practical world of finance for the improbable world of music. Did people call her crazy? Most probably, but barely a couple of years on the scene and she can already be heard on the radio and seen on BET.
Sometimes it requires breaking the rules
The most notable example is probably one of the richest men in the world, Bill Gates, who dropped out of school to start a business. Now he is the Microsoft guy and his personal worth is valued at billions.
It can require you to let go of everything you once defined as the trappings of success. Monica Haislip of little black pearl workshops in Chicago left a lucrative and glamorous position in marketing and decided to pursue her passion for helping the community and producing art. When she bought the building for her workshop on the south side, many called her crazy, when she ran out of money and had to borrow from everyone she knew, some people probably called her hopeless, but now where is she? Still standing, little black pearl workshops serves the community, inspires young African Americans to produce works of art and understand the business of it and it has an operating budget that is anywhere from $500,000 to $1.5 million.
The choice to be free is going to be difficult, it’s going to be uncomfortable, it’s going to require breaking every binding rule you’ve ever made, you may lose “everything”, but will it be worth it? Absolutely!
At the end of the day, it is a choice, and you can choose to live vibrantly, passionately, freely, or you can choose not to. It’s like Morpheus says in the Matrix…Do you want the red pill or the blue pill?
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Happiness deals wit open-mindedness. . . If u ain’t free in your thinkin hardly would you have FREEDOM. . . But being free always have 2 deal wit being trustworthy n truthful at all cost. . . Nonchallance is a problem here n it seems majority has this problem. . If ya neglect ya problem, you won’t find solution 2 it and you would never be Free n Happy.
Being free is have in a life
I really love this piece it was as though it was written to me. Thanks
nice one there…..
one idea i really agree with is the fact that we actually CHOOSE TO BE FREE.
to me, life has no basic rules. we actually make our own rules and confine ourselves to them. i can choose to be a criminal but only that i have to accept the fact that i could end up spending the rest of my life in jail for choosing that.
when we choose to be free, we actually break free of all fear, see every failure as stepping stones and get ready for the top, which is a sure consequence of trying the impossible.
we should see taking risks as taking our own lives. as long as we are not breaking any law whatsoever then why are we scared to try.
and most importantly i would like to say that the G-factor is an indispensable determinant of our freedom. if you rely on God, there is nothing you cannot do…
i rest my case…..
This article just reminded me the lines One of my fav songs knaan’s waving flag….”give me freedom,give me fire..give me reason take me higher”….there’s nothing like freedom and i can honestly tell u that i’ve freed myself from d shackles of fear and bondage…..both by society and religion…..
But!! Before we jump to “our freedom” we have to use wisdom so as to discern which and which we are to free ourselves from…cos some are meant for our well being and the continuance of mankind!! Adios!
I CHOOSE FREEDOM!
I will keep to all the six basic steps of liberty as listed above,so as to be the best i can ever be.
Thanks for the wonderful write-up.
As free as a bird!!!
I pray one would b able 2 overcome dis causes of not being free most especially dat of FEAR,which is very rampant & d 6 reasons 2 b free which is also a great 1,most especially one has 2 b confident inspite of uncertainty,atleast 1 shld just try & give it a trial.kudos emzorphama & d writer EKENE ONU.
The 4th paragraph reminded me of my thoughts towards my first contest (on fruits) with other emzorites. Considering the response of emzorites, I was discouraged to put in my opinion until I saw a definition of goal which says “To solve a problem or to reach a goal, you…don’t need to know all the answers in advance.”
You made mention of FEAR, and I still can’t find a genuine answer to the question which says “what are we afraid of?”…’cos a common answer is RISK, but it’s even a risk not to take risks.
I’ll like to thank the management of this site for all these motivating notes which I believe has influenced many to get out of their conform zone & overcome unsurmountable challenges that ordinary would cause a person with weak will to quit.
**listening to a song_2face : I wanna be free…free like a bird…**
I totally agree with the author of this article and will like to highlight a part i found rather interesting. See, someone once told me that “where there is a will, there is a way” and u wont believe it took me over 5 years to really understand why there will be a way when there is a will. Its because if you keep fighting and restrategising despite your failures and disappointments, success will definitely come, in multiples! Love ur work emzor. Up emzorites!
Beautiful article! speaking of boundaries… You’l be amazed how much we humans clamor for freedom is some areas of our lives yet it puzzles me to know that majority of us imprison ourselves (through our thoughts and actions) and throw away the key! A good number of us cant beat our chests that we are prodigys in some things not because we arent unique in them but because we ask ourselves ” who am i to be so smart, rich, attractive, funny, powerful…?”; the inferiority complex. I have made my choice, i’l acknowledge my weaknesses but capitalize on and magnify my strenghts. Emzor rock! Yeah!
Who wouldn’t agree? Truly inspiring!
It realy interest me to write on this page cos i luv motivational quotes…mreova,in anything i do most especially in studies,i luv to be independent…emzor,buh do u think we can be so or totally free as a citizen..if yes,why is it a deadly offence by govt when a citizen is cut to av been in a state of commiting suicide..since he/she owns his/her life..lol..dis is phylosophically o
this article is only accessible to those who can acess facebook either through phone or computers.how i wish it could be viewed by all. anyway once free is free forever. the writer has said it all. nice write up. thanks
FOUR BASIC LESSONS :
- Beware of the negas “People who just bring negative energy into any situation”
- Step outside your boundaries,by;
1. Choosing to be free.
2. Reaching out to opportunities.
3. Being confident in spite of uncertainty
4. Expanding your Circle of influence
5. Not being afraid of the word ‘RISK’
6. Just do it
- “Never give up” .Remember an American war hero that says;”Give me Liberty,or give me Death”
- Freedom is your right.
It will therefore depend on the individual’s view about freedom,because it’s a matter of choice and not chance.Opportunity will always arise to set us free,and we’re to determine whether to cease it or let go.But maximizing each one is highly advisable for anyone that is willing to move to the next level in his/her career.
Keep it up emzor
common everyone,Let’s get happy!!!
Oh…Thou art extremely funny. Well written and very inspiring.
We can be truely and entirely free when we see ourselves as shining stars,…as leaders of tomo…as those on whom the world look up to…..we can call ourselves free when we dont fear the “presumed” high and mighty….when we speak our mind(esp when right) without fear or favour….when we aint complacent abt happenings around us…when we aint shy…when we see problems as challenges…when we see obstacles as climbing blocks to greater height….that my friend is true freedom!!….not only freedom of the body but both intellectually,..of the soul mind and another aspect of our being!!…nice one writer!
Hmm…i now believe dat dis article is solely true…wot a mind-blowing article..EMZOR,kip the flag waving..ure the best..